Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Police still investigating death of Brett Gardner’s 14-year-old son as potential homicide - New York Post

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Scientists are experimenting with a completely new approach to combat human aging - Earth.com

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Derek Jeter Shares Brutal Reality for Yankees After Dodgers Loss - Sports Illustrated

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Can the belief of not worshipping Christ held by Jehovah's Witnesses be disproven using scripture alone?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Nvidia Stock Gains. What’s Driving the Chip Maker. - Barron's

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why aren't U.S. prisons more like Marine Corps boot camp, were every second of the day there are mandatory activities so that at night everyone is so tired they go to sleep until wakeup at 5:30 am? Would this make prisons safer for all?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I see through liars

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Watch 'superorganism' created by tiny worms — the first time it's ever been spotted in the wild - Live Science

I actually pay taxes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

John Stamos reveals he broke news of Brian Wilson's death to Mike Love - ABC News

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why do Puerto Ricans come to this country flying their flags over in the United States all over their cars? They're so proud of their country. Why are they here?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why do people say African Americans act the way they do because they're poor, when the ones with money act the same?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for fakery

NASA and India to Launch a $1.5 Billion Revolutionary Satellite That Will Change Earth Observation Forever! - The Daily Galaxy

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I can read

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have a reading level above third grade

I can count

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality